Weekend Update #14

This week's Stop Writing The Hard Way award nominee: Kurt Vonnegut. The entire literary blogosphere has linked to the NYT obit, so I'll link to Yankee Pot Roast.

Bill Cronin of the wonderfully named Comics Should Be Good discusses a pervasive problem in comics and in genre fiction in general, which he unfortunately names "Women in Refrigerators", referencing an anecdote even he will eventually forget. H.W. Fowler, had he discussed the practice of slaughtering female characters merely to provide provocation for a male character, might have coined "The Fairer Sacrifice" instead.

Nathan Bransford wraps his advice in an analogy that is guaranteed to send every single writer into paralytic despair.

Nathan also expresses reservations about the tortured language in many fantasy novels ("What will thou doest with all thy junk, all thy junk inside thy trunk"). He is, of course, too shy to suggest that the authors might actually talk like that, or to observe that this is all Shakespeare's fault.

And in a big week, Nathan asks whether you think it's valuable to spend months or years studying under the tutelage of a writer who usually isn't all that more successful than you, to develop skills that no-one in the room possesses, to pursue a career that almost certainly won't earn back the cost of the course.

Fiction Scribe hates your poetry.

A fascinating new chapter in the battle over Clive Cussler's Sahara (covered earlier), and a great read if, like me, you enjoy the phrase "bad writing" being spoken (repeatedly) under oath in civil court. "It is flawed in every way writing can be flawed." Marvellous.

Bella Stander points to and comments on a GalleyCat story about an author who hired a publicist to to create buzz for his bridge-burning, iUniverse-shipping BigPub-hating memoir antics, proving the adage that no-one can screw you while you're busy screwing yourself.

Stander also discusses one of the many ways life as a freelance writer sucks.

Keith DeCandido explains why your fanfic is no match for his profic (via Lee Goldberg).

Somebody want to tell me what the fsck "urban fantasy" is? No, don't, I've lived this long without knowing.

Victoria Strauss points out that copyright only matters if someone thinks your work is worth copying.

John Scalzi explains why tax time sucks even harder when you're a fulltime writer.

Slush Pile Diva says she is "constantly amazed how many letters I get from authors who have crafted novel length projects, but can't manage to define the genre their project fits into." You'd think the amazement would wear off after a while.

The Rejecter discusses how to get into publishing -- by working.

Lee Goldberg discovers that fanfiction writers really are worried about plagiarism and copyright abuse.

Stop Writing if You Need This Advice award nominees, Miss Snark Only edition:

• Miss Snark says if you copy elements of a published novel, don't fsckin' submit. If by some miracle you're talented enough to hide the plagiarised elements in enough original writing to get it published, you'll have the rare pleasure of watching your publisher disown the book and sue for the advance while Gawker blogs a side-by-side comparison of the work you plagiarised.
• Things not to say to an agent at a conference, #10: Validate me! #11: If I have sex with you ...
• Don't ask "Did you get my email?". If you're worried, hand deliver your submission. Agents love that.
• Oh, and get the fsck over yourself, if you think that fiction that "breaks all the rules" doesn't ever get published. It's time to set that albatross free. If it comes back, you're still going to be a shit writer, but at least you'll have a pet albatross. Vonnegut never had an albatross, and look at him now.