The Bigger Asshole Code of Conduct
[Updated, now with logo!]
There's been some discussion recently of defining a Blogger Code of Conduct, as a sort of finger-in-the-dyke response to the perennial threat of any useful Internet discussion being ruined by the vocalisings of assholes. Many, many bloggers have expressed, let's call them reservations about this, ranging from negative projections as to the efficacy of such a code, to the kind of reactions the code was designed to restrict. (A selective sample of such reservations.)
Here at 101 Reasons to Stop Writing, which is founded (and predicated) in part on the freedom to assholise, a Code which seeks to put a cork in every Internet asshole would run counter to the mission of trying to put a cork in every writer asshole. (It's debatable which set of assholes is the more populous, and the extent of the overlap.) Clearly, a different standard is needed, one that allows me to be as much of an asshole as I am inclined to be, while still limiting the capacity of other assholes to assholate on this blog.
Thus I propose a new code of conduct, as an attempt to describe and codify the unwritten conduct policies already in effect here and in much of the blogosphere.
The Bigger Asshole Code of Conduct:I get to be the bigger asshole on my blog.
I will define the terms "asshole" and "bigger" at my sole discretion.
It's a simple code, and the implications should be obvious. But for the assholes who want to belabour the point:
- Your assholarity must be slightly less than mine. (yA < mA, or yA = mA - X, where yA is your assholarity, mA is mine, and X is a unit of ass greater than 0.)
- I reserve the right to enforce this rule by deleting any and all examples of assholiness I deem to be bigger than, or equivalent to mine.
- This code, and its enforcement, does not impinge on your freedom to practice assholism on your own blog, or in your daily life.
It should be noted that this Code operates in conjunction with the previously posted policy On Anonymous Comments.
Other bloggers are welcome to use the Bigger Asshole Code of Conduct on their site. For bloggers who are not comfortable with publicly asserting their right to be the bigger asshole, I suggest the use of two simpler codes of conduct:
- Don't Be An Asshole
and
- If You Must Be An Asshole, Be Funny
Update: The Bigger Asshole Code of Conduct now has a logo, thanks to the clever people at Says-It.com, currently available in three sizes (105, 120, 100 pixels):
You're welcome to use these images on your blog. If you do, please copy the images to your own server, and provide a link back to this post (either from the image or from your blog, somewhere).
