101 Reasons to Stop Writing: Weekend Update #9

Fiction Scribe gets caught in a logical paradox over the issue of learning to expect rejection: "Yes, rejections have and will be sent to me, but I won’t expect them to come." She goes on to paraphrase seven reasons why your work might get rejected, five of which are your fault.

The Bwog hands in 5 Reasons not to attend writing classes (second section down). C. Show, don't tell.

Lee Goldberg relays an email from someone who actually got paid by PublishAmerica, after eight months of arbitration.

Nathan Bransford tries to explain the importance of pacing. I don't think he succeeds, but the fact that he doesn't succeed demonstrates how complex it is (and his recommendation of The Da Vinci Code as an example of masterful pacing demonstrates how subjective it is). He also tells us that editors do actually edit, and brings in a material witness, so you might need to redraft your "publishing industry going to hell in a handbasket" theories.

Playwright Mark Ravenhill sends mixed messages about unattainable imperfection, and the right of artists to tell fans not to buy inferior work released against the artist's wishes.

Imagine my disappointment when I found an article entitled Stop Writing Before It's Too Late and the message is really "slow down and think about it". Wuss.

Hey! Use this Titlescorer tool from LuLu to check the percentage chance of your book being a bestseller. Then you can just click over and publish the whole thing with them, and reduce those chances to zero.

Bookslut has an interview with author Scarlett Thomas in which she describes a technique for plot development -- then says if the technique doesn't work for you, stop writing. And you think I'm harsh.

See, Jenna Bush can get a book published because she's the President's daughter. You? Not so much. If you write a novel about a single mother living with HIV in Panama, your publicist better know an associate producer at Oprah.

I think Lori Perkins may be my favourite agent. The resignation, the agony, the horror of the slushpile is palpable in every post.

Miss Snark has some counterintuitive advice if you think it's smart to query agents who've represented books similar to yours. Apparently it isn't. Really, you should be glad the submission process is so random, capricious and inscrutable. If it were fair and reasonable, you'd be judged solely on your writing.

She also takes other agents to task for not replying to email queries. Then again, she gets 5000+ submissions a year, to Perkins' 30,000+.

Next Week: Miss Snark and Lori Perkins Celebrity Deathmatch.

Despite having brains capable of extreme pondering, the "literati" generally don't understand why the rest of the world deride and distrust their pomposity. Maybe it's because they can debate the meaning of the word "unimportant".

A blog whimsically entitled A Little Cheese With That Whine discusses reasons for your lack of motivation to write. They leave out the obvious: you're crap, and writing would eventually require you to deal with that.

If you're one of those people who think writing is like breathing, Victoria Strauss urges you to remember what happens when you inhale Helium.

Despite Dr Hack's advice, this is not good publicity.

Stop Writing if You Need This Advice award nominees: