Weekend Update #11
(For week ending 25/3. Almost back on track.)
The Rejecter suggests that if you think writing is a sucky job, try working in the New York publishing scene.
Miss Snark explains why there's a discrepancy between what an agent's listing in Writers' Market says and what they actually want. Hint: They don't make money from it.
Dean Koontz is apparently too cheap to ride the "book trailer" bandwagon, instead opting to audition hoboes to ride for him (Via Zooba). If you're not au fait with the recent book trailer craze, it's just the opportunity to demonstrate that you're crap at making short films too.
Do you ever get the feeling that in years to come you're going to be trying to explain to your grandkids what a book was? The New York Times is saying that "author films" may replace book tours. I'm lining up right now at my local bookstore to get a ticket for the next Ian McEwan movie.
Aspiring writers: read through this list of pun-enriched writing tips. If there's a single one where you can't identify the pun, stop writing. There will be a test.
Miss Snark posts her query-to-contract ratio. You ain't in it.
Nathan Bransford totally rips me off to post 101 Things in Queries That Catch My Eye. He only makes it to 21, but that's better than I'm doing.
Russ Kaufmann quits writing. One down ...
Lee Goldberg finds out what happens when you cross the fanfic Mafia. Oh my God! They're bringing in the angry letters! AAAAAAAAAAH!
The problem with being an agent is, the more successful you are, the more fscking query letters you get.
The Rejecter makes a point about grammar, but in the first paragraph, she (unintentionally?) makes a more profound point about the state of the book-buying market.
Stop Writing if You Need This Advice award nominees:
- Miss Snark suggests if you're submitting electronically, save your work in a file format that Macs and PCs can read. Remember when typewriters only had the one font?
- Agent Kristin says don't ask an agent what they think of another agent. Or a publisher, for that matter. Would you ask the manager at McDonalds what he thinks of the service at Burger King? (I'm not saying agents would lie, but there's no angle in telling you the truth, is there?) AK gives you the skinny on how to evaluate an agent, for those that haven't stopped writing yet, but I'm not going to link to it. Why should I help you? Where's my angle?
- Elise points out the dangers of listening too closely to other unpublished writers.
- Miss Snark recommends that if someone asks for a manuscript, send them a MANUSCRIPT, not a LuLu-bound copy with an acknowledgements page thanking your mother for the fish. Editors and agents have spent years getting the crick in their neck just right so they can read and edit a loose-leaf manuscript on the subway, in a cab, at lunch, and while making whoopee. Don't send them to the chiropractor.
- And don't mention rejection, of any flavour or orientation, in your query letter. Some people just want to fail.
- Author Kit Whitfield uses a longwinded speed dating analogy to suggest you don't be an asshole. If you're looking for an excuse to unleash the asshole within, the fossil fuel lobby is always looking for new talent. They get paid for their fiction.
- Dr Hack explains why you shouldn't bother entering writing contests.
- The ever lovely Slush Pile Diva says you must find your voice. But she doesn't tell you what it looks like, or where you put it.
- Victoria Strauss of Writer Beware says don't use Literary Agents Online, a querying service that thinks you'll pay one hundred dollars to read an expression of interest from an agent prepared to read submissions from an automated query service, and to let you be charged by a third party to hear from them. If you're silly enough do this, they deserve your money, and I'll be happy because you're $100 closer to quitting.
