More On Padding

Author Simon Haynes, who still believes in NaNoWriMo for some reason, tipped me to the user forum at the NaNo website, where the contents of next year's slushpiles and bottom drawers are slowly taking shape.

Dear God, the horror. They actually do discuss tips on shameless padding.

My favourites:

"Restaurant scenes with a large group of people are wonderful. You can detail what every person is eating."

"Have characters introduce themselves, with family history, to everyone they meet. Including grocery store clerks."

"Oh, and you could always have one character be hard of hearing ... so he has to constantly ask people to repeat themselves."

(I have a hearing problem. Asking people to repeat themselves is one of the most boring parts of life, let alone fiction.)

One NaNo veteran has taken it further and has a webpage devoted to padding techniques, including longwinded descriptions of each. His final point:

"XI. Don't actually set out to write something good."

Then what the hell is the point?